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NJmrsTi Asked March 9, 2025
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My mom’s dementia has rapidly progressed as in lightning speed. She’s in AL but not yet in memory care. Simultaneously her hearing has also declined and now she can’t hear much of anything even if you yell.
I may be wrong but we have limited funds and she has a bad track record with hearing aids when she was fully capable of using them. If she doesn’t know how to use the remote, phone, spray nozzles, and constantly destroys things because of her confusion, I can’t see spending on hearing aids she’ll destroy. Yet I think it will benefit her greatly to hear. Maybe? She is a shell of a person. Doesn’t want to do anything like shower, dress, eat, move, wash a dish, use the garbage pail and on and on. I don’t blame her. She’s overweight and carrying 40lbs of water weight in her legs and refusing to move and cancels P/T and leg wraps. Only eats sugar foods and a few bites of real food so trying to improve her quality of life seems futile.
I just want something to improve her mood. She’s on antidepressants but they aren’t helping and yesterday I found a whole day of meds hidden in a cup. Of course we spoke with the nursing staff.
Has anyone used the devices that go over the ears like a headset? We can’t use anything that requires a smart phone or is difficult to put on. Yes the aides could do that but likely she’ll pull them off and hide them somewhere.
Or, Is there any financial help available to pay for a hearing aide that isn’t hard for someone like her to use?
Thanks
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AllieCat615 Mar 9, 2025
An acquaintance used electronic shooting ear protection. It worked to amplify voices. Not sure on battery life. You could just use during conversation and then remove easily.
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AlvaDeer Mar 9, 2025
As a nurse the problem of dentures and hearing aids were a CONSTANT. The poor kitchen was always looking for things left on meal trays, and were trained to carefully watch for things.
In advanced dementia I can't really imagine an answer at all, and if there is one, the aids working with elders at the facility will have it. Ask around when you visit what they recommend.
Sorry this is added to other things your mom is suffering.
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BurntCaregiver Mar 9, 2025
If your mother is at the point in her dementia where she is this withdrawn in her own world, leave her there. If you decide to get her hearing aides, get her the cheap ones that they advertise on tv and in the AARP magazine. Don't drop thousands of dollars because she'll wreck them or lose them.
Other than this give her what she wants. If eating sweets makes her happy, let her have them. Her dementia is not going to improve no matter what you get her or do for her.
If she had a cup of pills, it's probably time for memory care because a nurse isn't giving her pills in the AL. Giving meds in an AL is you hand a person a cup and walk away.
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NJmrsTi Mar 9, 2025
That’s an interesting thought. I still think she’s capable.
Thank you. Your reply helps me realize this isn’t going to get better.
We visited the memory care floor 4 weeks ago and felt it was too soon but I see she needs to be there. She is in her own little world.
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JoAnn29 Mar 9, 2025
I think you may just have to give up trying. She is in her own little world. She probably can't comprehend what you are saying anyway.
Why does Mom have pills in a cup? In my Moms AL the residents were not allow medications in their rooms. The were dispensed by the staff. If a staff member is giving Mom her meds, she has to make sure she takes them. If they are not willing to do this, time for Mom to go to MC. Your Mom should not be making decisions about her care.
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NJmrsTi Mar 9, 2025
Yes, that is the measures the aides are supposed to be taking but somehow this dose slipped. They were in a cup stuffed with garbage not the nurses cup.
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